HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY.
Last night of 2006 and I wasnt drunk, makes a change some might say. But that doesn't mean I didn't have a good time, I spent it with my family and had a few friends over to see in the new year. House parties are alot cheaper than going out and also you don't waste time waiting in a line to be served.
Is this whole attitude of not going out clubbing on new years eve a sign, maybe a sign I am getting old? There used to be a time I wouldn't ever dream of staying in on new years eve, but now, it just doesn't seem as inportant as it used to. Maybe its because I have been there and done that, once too many, or maybe its just because I wasn't going to let friends let me down by not turning up like on previous new years eve, I don't know.
The point is, I had fun with a different crowd of people for new years eve and I didn't get drunk, so what. There will be plenty of other new years events to get drunk at and listen to the same old tunes, but I doubt very much I will have to wait until then for all of that!! Last night I had lots of lovely food and some lovely alcohool, beer and Champagne to be exact and a good time.
I just hope that this year turns out better than last year. I finally made the move out of the family home last year and got some independence, but three accidents in three months towards the end of last year. I feel I am deffinately due a change of fortune, maybe a jackpot lottery win, the girl of my dreams walking into my life, a job in radio presenting a breakfast show, maybe even some of my close friends and family actually acting like close friends and family - then again these are all just maybes and maybe I shouldn't hold my breath.
If you don't know me, then the one thing I take very seriously is friendship and I value all my close friends and sometimes feel that they don't value my friendship enough. Last year I went to an audition in London and stayed with someone I thought I was friends with. Throughout my stay I didn't think I had done anything wrong, anything that might upset this friend, as this friend showed no emotion or sign to suggest otherwise. But after I came back from London, I made numerous attempts to contact this friend and find out how they were and just generally catch up, but they never answered their phone or replied to any text messages. So eventually I gave up and deleted thheir contact details from my phone. I just wish I could delete any memory of them from my life as they have done to me. With time I am sure that they wil become a distant memory, it just hurts to think that someone can completely ignore you for no apparent reason.
So this year, and don't go calling it a new years resolution, I am going to make sure the people I call friends feel the same way, kind of like evaluating friendships and maybe seeing how loyal these friends of mine are. I just want to know that I am not wasting my time or theirs by calling them friends. Because in my opinion, friendships require effort.
Anyone reading this, don't think it's aimed at you if you're a friend of mine, this is just another blog entry and some thoughts I need to clear from my head. If your a friend reading this, then you are already showing an interest in how this friend is feeling and if your reading this, then great, it shows you care.
All I am saying is that over the last few years, friends and sometimes even family have tested me and now it's time to test them.
I just need to work out who are the important people in my life and am I important enough to be in theirs.
Only time will tell.
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